Name: Deborah Farmer

Organisation:

Award Category: Healthcare Professional

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Voting Is Now Closed

My Plea:

Butterfly Awards 2019

Category

Health Care Professional

‘Supporting women through miscarriage, ectopic or molar pregnancy’

I’m finding writing this plea very difficult, it has got to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I have asked myself several times, how am I better than any of the other healthcare professionals that has been nominated for this award when we are all striving for the same things, aiming to provide the best care for our women and their partners who are ultimately at their lowest and most vulnerable time of their lives.

I feel like a little fish in a big pond, there are so many deserving people in this category who have had much more experience than myself, so, how can I make my plea stand out when I don’t know the first thing about Instagram, tweeting, blogging or using any other social media platform, when I can only just manage to navigate Facebook and use those little emojis!

I have asked several people for some tips on what I should be writing and the advice I was given was;

“just be honest, explain all the differences that you have made, why and how”

So here we go, this is my plea;

My name is Deborah and I work as a Staff Nurse on the Gynaecology Ward for Calderdale and Huddersfield NHS Foundation Trust (CHFT), I am also the Link Nurse for Pregnancy Loss up to 18 weeks gestation.

I have worked for CHFT for the past 35 years of which 23 years have been in women’s health on the Gynaecology Ward.

**Please note that I shall use the term pregnancy loss or miscarriage to
include, ectopic and molar pregnancy.

The National Bereavement Care Pathway has been developed to improve and standardise bereavement care in all hospitals nationally. The pathway aims to ensure that all bereaved parents are offered the same ‘equal, high quality and individualised care’. (NBCP)

The Gynaecology ward and Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit where I work provides highly skilled nursing care for women who may be experiencing early pregnancy loss. We provide an inpatient service 24/7 and an outpatient service 7 days a week.

It is estimated that around one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, therefore, early pregnancy losses are, sadly, quite a common occurrence.

In today’s society, miscarriage is still seen as a taboo, an unspoken event that must be kept quiet and not discussed in public, as such it is not seen as a bereavement and all too often with the attitude that it is best not to talk about in fear that it may be too upsetting for the parents and family.

Every loss is different, there is no right or wrong way to feel and for a few, the experience can be deeply distressing and is often regarded as one of the most painful forms of bereavement, and for the majority, pregnancy loss means the loss of their baby no matter how early the gestation.

Women may go through a wide range of emotions, they can be quite, distressed or even express anger, all of which is normal. As healthcare professionals how we approach these emotions can make the difference to the women’s experience.

The staff on the ward play a crucial role for the woman’s long term recovery, we aim to make a help the woman through this difficult time by providing sensitive and supportive care not only to the woman, but to her partner and her family members, and by doing so we can create an atmosphere of trust and give them a feeling of being cared for in the midst of their pain and grief.

I am keen to ensure that all the doctors and nursing staff on the ward use the terminology which couples understand, and refrain from using terminology which may offend, for example, abortion, it is not a word a woman wants to hear when she has lost a much wanted baby.

Memory making for parents

Has a health care professional I recognise that parents appreciate the offer of memory making, even those of an early gestation loss should be given the opportunity however limited it maybe.

I always try and create a variety of memories and provide memory boxes to all parents no matter what gestation, however, I am mindful and understand that not all parents want this service and it is essential that the parents don’t feel pressured into something that they don’t want.

Often I find that parents are too frightened to see and hold their baby, as they are unsure, what the baby might look like, that is where myself as a healthcare professionals can sensitively explain the appearance and condition of their baby in order address any fears which they may have.

Photographs of the babies can taken in various ways depending on the condition of the baby and I will try and do hand and foot prints wherever possible. The tiny babies are laid in an appropriately sized wicker basket or a small wooden casket which is lined with ‘angel pocket’ and trimmed with lace for the parents to view.

The parents are encouraged to hold or have their baby with them for as long as they want, this will give the parents time to make their own special memories. A cuddle cot has been kindly donated to the ward, it comes with a small cool mattress purposely made for our tiny babies, this will enable our parents to be with their baby for longer.

Unfortunately, for some women, seeing or holding their baby isn’t an option, when this is the case, I can offer a ‘certificate of loss’ which is completed in recognition of their babies existence.

Before discharge, our women are given contact numbers which they can access 24/7 and information of support networks which are available, locally and nationally. Unfortunately there doesn’t appear to be any local support groups for early pregnancy loss in my area, as such, this is something I am keen to set up in the future.

I am also one of the founding members that has organised a special ‘Remembrance tree’ in our hospital. Over the Christmas period, the tree is available for parents and family members who have experienced a pregnancy loss for them to write a message on a star and then hang it in on the tree. The remembrance tree has been available for the past 19years and has proven very popular with our parents, and I have found that the same parents hang a star every year in memory of their baby.

I am so passionate at providing the best care possible for the parents and family members that I am constantly looking at ways to improve the service on our ward which will in turn give the bereaved parents’ a feeling of being cared for and supported when they are at their most vulnerable.

It is essential that all staff should be aware of any previous loss and if the woman consents then this information should added and be readily available. I’ve been working closely with our Chief Nurse Information Officer in order to add an alert/flag on the Trusts computer system, this will enable staff to be aware at a glance of any previous pregnancy loss. The alert system should be available for staff in the next couple of weeks.

“Bereaved parents will never forget the understanding, respect, and genuine warmth they receive from caregivers, which can become as lasting and important as any other memories of their lost pregnancy”

What others have said:

“Not only is she a good Staff Nurse to all patients, she goes above and beyond to help the ladies that are miscarrying. She is very empathetic with all and no matter how busy the ward maybe she always dedicates time to ensure that the ladies receive the care and support that they need at this very distressing time”
– RN Rhoda Cranley

“My wife Debbie is very passionate about the service that she provides, she always ensures that her patients are nursed with the upmost care, compassion and dignity, on one of the most saddest days of their lives. She spends most of her free time organising study days for her colleagues, charity events and displays in order for them to improve their knowledge and awareness, in pregnancy loss, I am so proud of my wife”.
– Mark Farmer (husband)

“Deborah is the pregnancy loss lead for the ward and raises awareness for both professionals and parents on pregnancy loss issues. She holds information stands regarding pregnancy loss and as done several fundraisers for a charity who support parents by providing memory boxes for the ward for parents to cherish, a lot of this work is done in her own time”.
– Staff Nurse Cathryn Ryan

“Debbie is committed to making pregnancy loss bearable for the women of West Yorkshire. She does this by training healthcare colleagues, liaising with local services such as the crematorium staff, providing memory boxes and hand and foot prints”.
“Debbie has also organised study days to promote excellent care. She is a tireless force for the families she cares for and an inspiration to the nursing team. It is a privilege to work with her. She deserves this recognition”.
– Ward Manager Rachel Fielder

“Deborah is so passionate about pregnancy loss and raising awareness for both healthcare professionals and patients and often this work is undertaken in her own time”. – HCA Sarah Bentley

What parents have said:

“I came onto ward 4C to deliver my baby who had sadly died in my womb, my husband and my mother also came in to help me through the procedure. We were truly devastated for our loss as it was a very much long awaited baby which we had so much wanted.

We arrived onto the ward not knowing fully what I had to go through, Deborah was very good, she explained the whole procedure in great detail, answered any questions that we had. She gave us memory box which contained hand and footprints of our baby, and also gave plenty of leaflets/booklets on support and advice etc that I might need, she even gave my husband a leaflet on Men & Miscarriage which he very found helpful.

Deborah checked on me on a regular basis throughout the procedure and made sure my husband and mother was ok too. Although it was such a tragic and devastating experience that I went through, the whole team of staff were very good and very professional which was a great support to myself, my husband and my mother.

I must say Deborah was especially very good, very understanding, listening to our wishes, she gave us plenty of advise, support and was very sympathetic towards us. Your ward has a lovely team of staff, and I am sure that it will continue to help support women in the same circumstances as myself. Thank you again”.
– Patient feedback, (15/40 Miscarriage)

“I would like to thank you Deborah for all of the emotional support and care that you have given me through this traumatic time, thank you so very much”.
– Patient feedback (8/40 Miscarriage)

“I’d like to thank a very special nurse who looked after me to the height of distinction! (Deborah Farmer) Thanx Debs, you never left my side from the moment of admission, getting ready to go to theatre, then caring for me after my operation, thank you so, so much xx”.
– Patient feedback (Ectopic Pregnancy)

Thank you for taking time to read my story Debbie xx

‘I am so grateful for the charity 4Louis who provide our memory boxes, equipment and also provide funding in order for our nursing staff to attend study days’.

https://youtu.be/lRsE-o3NtMQ